Step-families are a dynamic that many people deal with but, as many families can attest, just because its common, doesn't mean its any less challenging.

Step-families are a dynamic that many people deal with but, as many families can attest, just because its common, doesn't mean its any less challenging.

One Traverse City area woman took her own personal struggles public, and is trying to give a voice to step-moms while providing a new resource to help find solutions to common issues.

"Our first year was a struggle for me," Explains Angela Lyon. "You love those children so much and then there's that constant reminder that your not their real parent. People always say to me 'oh you're not their real mom', well in your heart I tell you what you are in your heart you sure are."

Angela and her husband Ray first met in 2006 when Ray's daughters were four and five. Now more than two years later, the blended family is finding new ways to form togetherness, despite a mix of court orders and co-parents.

"Having these two incredible little people in your life and the second that front door closes and they are back to the other house, and it's dead silent and I think that's why I think I can relate so much to the biological parent because the other co-parent must feel the same way."

One way Angela is helping deal with the daily struggles is by connecting with other step mothers who face the same challenges. "When things were really challenging I had this little fantasy that if I could just be in a room with a whole bunch of women who knew exactly what I was feeling it's like 'why can't I create that?'"

Angela talked about her family's story and the newly formed group in the current issue of Grand Traverse Woman magazine. The response has shown the struggles are common.

"It's overwhelming," Says Angela. "I stopped counting at 75 emails from the article. People were sharing the most intimate details with me, a stranger, and I was so touched, but also felt overwhelming sadness too, that the dynamics in blended families are this challenging and others are feeling the same thing."

Angela hopes by highlighting the challenges, the community will be educated as well, that step-parents have a key role in raising children, and that it doesn't take a biological link to form love. Being a step-parent is a role Angela feels strongly about enforcing and helping others cope with the constant challenges.

"It's really about feeling so overwhelmed and so frustrated I felt like there were no resources. I didn't feel like as a wife who loves her husband that I could continue to go to him constantly and I could see that would wear on our marriage," Angela Explains.

Now that the support group has been created, Angela says she's now able to lean on others in the same position, while helping with what she's already learned first hand. "Stay the course, be consistent be respectful, and for your own personal protection, because you are walking into a dynamic that you didn't have any input in setting up , learn boundaries."

The next meeting of the step-moms group will take place November 17th at The Arbors Clubhouse off of Hartman Road.

It begins at 5:30 PM. For more information or to contact Angela, click on the link provided below.

stepmomnorth@yahoo.com