Another year, another resolution: How to make this one stick
Did you give up on your New Year’s resolution yet? If so, you are in good company. Of the 45% of Americans who make a resolution, 25% have dropped it within one week. By June, only 45% of the people who made a resolution will still be working at it. And no, the rest of them have not succeeded…they have given up.
What do we need to do to succeed? I think we need to work on our motivation, our “self-talk,” and our planning and lack of patience.
When I talk about motivation, I am referring to “why” we do things. Are you losing weight to please yourself or someone else? Are you quitting smoking because you want to and realize the benefits to you, or because someone is nagging you? People that succeed have made a resolution that means something to them. They are convinced that they need to change a problem behavior and recognize that although it will be challenging, the benefits outweigh the discomfort. Lasting lifestyle changes require long term commitment, and having that motivation within you is a key to success.
We talk to ourselves all the time. Is your “self-talk” helpful or harmful? A mom with a troublesome teen says to herself “I need chocolate!” Or does she say “chocolate won’t solve this; I need to think of another approach to my teen”? Spend time actually listening to what you tell yourself, and if you are not helping yourself, then you are sabotaging your efforts. Catch those thoughts, look at them objectively (and with humor, because they are usually pretty funny) and revise them to something more helpful to you.
We have a tendency to plan our work lives, but not things like resolutions. Take those good work habits and put them to use in this arena. I recommend two planning steps: learn, and then plan.
Learning has two parts: learn from yourself and learn from others. I ask my clients to make two columns on a piece of paper and label them “what worked” and “what didn’t.” Then think about the issue you want to work on, or other issues you have successfully addressed. When I think of how I quit smoking, several things worked for me. Waiting 5 minutes before I could have a cigarette worked because it taught me that the craving would pass if I waited. Being in a group to give me support when I was struggling worked. I needed someone to listen to me complain other than my poor family! What didn’t work included saving up cigarette butts in a jar. Most people find it helpful because it is nasty smelling. I thought it smelled just fine, so that technique made me want a cigarette, rather than the opposite. When you have completed this exercise, you know what is effective for you and you can apply it to your current situation. Waiting 5 minutes is just as effective for chocolate as it is for cigarettes!
Learning from others means doing your research. Read books, go to reputable websites, talk to people you respect. Don’t go for the latest crazy diet, find out what is a healthy way to eat that you can maintain for the rest of your life. Spend the time to evaluate different options and choose 2-3 that you think would work for you. If you have trouble with plan A, then you have other options to move on to.
Now do some more specific planning. What will I do this week? Write down exactly what you want to accomplish; this is an “action plan”. Be specific and reasonable. “Lose 50 pounds” is a bit much to tackle all at once. Try to focus on behaviors that will help you reach that goal instead. Walking 3 days a week (on Monday, Wednesday and Friday) for thirty minutes after dinner is a reasonable and measurable action plan that will help you move toward your 50 pound goal. You know what you want to do, and will know clearly if you succeed or fail. Each week, you can add to or change your action plan.
The last thing to discuss is impatience. If you are still reading, then I know you have some patience! Most people in our culture are used to instant gratification. We are tapping our feet in the grocery line if our credit card takes more than a nanosecond to be processed. We want to get these resolutions off our list and move on to the next thing.
Studies show that we need to “stick to it” to succeed. We need to invest time, energy and persistence to achieve our resolutions. Otherwise, they will be on our list again next year. Good luck!
Susan Boyko RN, is the Health Coach for Harbor LifeStyle Center in Petoskey. If you have questions or comments, you can reach her at 231-487-2150 or susanboyko1@gmail.com. Further information about Harbor LifeStyle can be found online by CLICKING HERE.
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